2009Dec5 at 1249 (Conversations in my Head, Heart's Land, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: truth, simple, connection, experience, imagination, light, sight, schema, frames, crash, return to dust, unique, sign, memo, specific, artistic, situation, image, imagine, concrete, story, drawn, object, criteria, view
Drop the frames
Remove the schema
Let them crash
And return to dust
Take each experience
Let it be as it is
Connect to it uniquely
However that is for you
Sign the memo
With something specific
With something artistic
True to your view, and the situation
Draw an image for yourself
Imagine a simple thing
That from its concreteness
The full story can be drawn
Put that object away
In a specific place
With similar criteria
Put it somewhere well-lit
So that you can see your imagination in detail.
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2009Oct31 at 1016 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: understanding, limitation, fulfillment, knowledge, response, power, control, enjoy, requirements, expectations, circumstances, potential, world, people, expansion, decision, environment, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, structuring, function, ability, made for myself
I musn’t have the expectation to control or over-power the environment, circumstances or people around me. I must require control of and power over myself; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. There may be more and more accurate structuring of these, but to know and understand their function, potential, limitation, and the like, will expand my ability to fulfill and enjoy this requirement.
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2009Oct10 at 1024 (Conversations in my Head)
Tags: breaking, bare hands, epic, romantic, bread
There is something about breaking bread with bare hands that I find to be intensely romantic & epic.
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2009Feb24 at 0230 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Gatherings, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: truth, free, understanding, terrified, judgment, wait, God, blind, pride, hear, speak, heart, rest, desire, shame, evil, thought, darkness, words, honest, called, ignorance, peace, chaos, feelings, where?, freedom, arms, willingness, relationship, why?, blood, pressure, passion, pleasure, sky, please, sight, lives, sounds, kitchen, dirty, damp, master, food, distinguish, pot, pan, clean, ceiling, floor, past, lies, sea, hands, reach, name, bind, plea, dry, save, hell, die, pitiful, fighting, what?, matter, flatter, refuse, face, hold, validate, man, humiliation, race, win, others, prize, domination, Lord?, battles, return, waste, flesh, claim, relate, yell, command, point, gavel, weight, sweat, doom, walls, throat, one another
Chaos swirling rapidly around
So many lives, so many sounds
The kitchen’s dirty, dark and damp
The master’s calling for food
But I can’t see.
I could.
I used to distinguish from pot and pan;
The dirty and clean;
The ceiling and floor.
But not any more.
Now I feel,
I feel for real.
I see there are so many lies.
Now I see,
I see the sea.
And my hands reach up for the skies.
Freedom, freedom calls my name
The truth will set you free.
Bind the evil,
Kick it out!
And then please hear my plea
And then please speak with me.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
Peace, peace, peace, be still
The words come from a dry, croaking throat
Evil has won
But your saving us, son
Live in hell so that we may die
In our pitiful, passionate pleasures
I’m fighting, yes! But what for?!
I’m living, yes! But what for?!
But what for?! But. What. For?!
And why?
…It doesn’t matter now, it seems
The passing has already come
I’m truly flattered now, it seems
…no!
I refuse.
I will not hold up your face any more
I will not validate your lies.
You are just a man like me…
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
I have been humiliated
Entirely so
And yes, I feel it too,
The pressure to race, to win, to hold
From others as well as my own.
But when: to rest, to wait, to hold
One another instead of a prize,
In honest, willing thoughtfulness
Not dominant, prurient pride.
Where is the peace, my Lord?
Where is the desire to understand?
Where is the ignorance slight,
And thoughtfulness true?
Where are the battles finally won?
In your arms I’ll rest, my Lord
But to return to the darkness?
Truly Lord, what lies in the wastes?
The flesh and blood, claimed by One
Who dooms to ignorant fate.
And the hearts of some, claimed by One
Who choose to wait and relate.
Still, the darkness weighs heavily
The master’s voice yells again
But only so long as to give commands
And next the judge comes in.
The master points,
I feel ashamed
Then terrified as the gavel is raised
Over his head,
It weighs so much
He sweats but his eyes are blind
Then he lets it fall onto my chest
And my doomed life spatters
Over them and the walls
And finally, I am at rest.
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2009Jan5 at 0134 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: truth, trust, terrified, community, vision, love, knowledge, seeking, spirit, heart, desire, glory, want, peace, Operation Valkyrie, tyrant, Hitler, atrocity, expression, circumstances, illusion, potential, neighbor, freedom, ask, enemy, authority, shadow, bitterness
I saw a story of the Operation Valkyrie today, which attempted to assassinate the most infamous tyrant of our time and establish another rule. The following were my thoughts afterward:
“As much as we can blame, and choose to blame on Hitler and the like, the spirit which drove him through his atrocities still lives in many of us today. We have only found different ways of expressing it: the want. We all have want, and we’ll do what we must to acquire it.
Hitler was only raised under different circumstances with a bigger vision and illusion for his desire…”
Realizing I was terrified of the possibilities this could hold–within myself and within those who I will be associated with in the future–I concluded with a plan:
“I will love my neighbor and give them peace and give them freedom. I will give them truth, but only to those who are seeking; only to those who ask. And for those who do not, for those who proclaim in their heart that they are an enemy of mine and the God that I know and love, I will give them also to that highest authority and trust Him in all things–even though this land of shadow end in bitterness, as it surely will. All glory is God’s alone.”
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2009Jan5 at 0108 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: understanding, knowledge, receive, humility, confidence, peace, questions, fear, contact, relationship, answers
Fear comes from things that you don’t understand
Which, if responded to in humility, leads to questions
Which, if they are received, leads to answers
Which, if received and understood, lead to peace and confidence in knowledge and understanding
Which, if contact is continued, forms and binds a relationship.
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2009Jan5 at 0102 (Conversations in my Head, Poetry, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: judgment, heart, grace, power, peace, where?, fate, decisions
By men, general peace can be kept in every place,
And God will judge with his own grace.
And I haven’t the power to decide,
Where the fate of any man’s heart will reside.
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