I musn’t have the expectation to control or over-power the environment, circumstances or people around me. I must require control of and power over myself; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. There may be more and more accurate structuring of these, but to know and understand their function, potential, limitation, and the like, will expand my ability to fulfill and enjoy this requirement.
Decision: How Will I Respond to the World?
2009Oct31 at 1016 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: ability, circumstances, control, decision, emotionally, enjoy, environment, expansion, expectations, fulfillment, function, knowledge, limitation, made for myself, mentally, people, physically, potential, power, requirements, response, spiritually, structuring, understanding, world
On Language Learning: Just an Observation
2009Oct31 at 1003 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life)
Tags: foreign land, foreign language, foreign places, issue, language, learning, observation, personal
Learning a foreign language without a foreign land: personal issue.
Chaos at Hand
2009Feb24 at 0230 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Gatherings, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: arms, battles, bind, blind, blood, called, ceiling, chaos, claim, clean, command, damp, darkness, desire, die, dirty, distinguish, domination, doom, dry, evil, face, feelings, fighting, flatter, flesh, floor, food, free, freedom, gavel, God, hands, hear, heart, hell, hold, honest, humiliation, ignorance, judgment, kitchen, lies, lives, Lord?, man, master, matter, name, one another, others, pan, passion, past, peace, pitiful, plea, please, pleasure, point, pot, pressure, pride, prize, race, reach, refuse, relate, relationship, rest, return, save, sea, shame, sight, sky, sounds, speak, sweat, terrified, thought, throat, truth, understanding, validate, wait, walls, waste, weight, what?, where?, why?, willingness, win, words, yell
Chaos swirling rapidly around
So many lives, so many sounds
The kitchen’s dirty, dark and damp
The master’s calling for food
But I can’t see.
I could.
I used to distinguish from pot and pan;
The dirty and clean;
The ceiling and floor.
But not any more.
Now I feel,
I feel for real.
I see there are so many lies.
Now I see,
I see the sea.
And my hands reach up for the skies.
Freedom, freedom calls my name
The truth will set you free.
Bind the evil,
Kick it out!
And then please hear my plea
And then please speak with me.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
Peace, peace, peace, be still
The words come from a dry, croaking throat
Evil has won
But your saving us, son
Live in hell so that we may die
In our pitiful, passionate pleasures
I’m fighting, yes! But what for?!
I’m living, yes! But what for?!
But what for?! But. What. For?!
And why?
…It doesn’t matter now, it seems
The passing has already come
I’m truly flattered now, it seems
…no!
I refuse.
I will not hold up your face any more
I will not validate your lies.
You are just a man like me…
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
I have been humiliated
Entirely so
And yes, I feel it too,
The pressure to race, to win, to hold
From others as well as my own.
But when: to rest, to wait, to hold
One another instead of a prize,
In honest, willing thoughtfulness
Not dominant, prurient pride.
Where is the peace, my Lord?
Where is the desire to understand?
Where is the ignorance slight,
And thoughtfulness true?
Where are the battles finally won?
In your arms I’ll rest, my Lord
But to return to the darkness?
Truly Lord, what lies in the wastes?
The flesh and blood, claimed by One
Who dooms to ignorant fate.
And the hearts of some, claimed by One
Who choose to wait and relate.
Still, the darkness weighs heavily
The master’s voice yells again
But only so long as to give commands
And next the judge comes in.
The master points,
I feel ashamed
Then terrified as the gavel is raised
Over his head,
It weighs so much
He sweats but his eyes are blind
Then he lets it fall onto my chest
And my doomed life spatters
Over them and the walls
And finally, I am at rest.
Perceptions
2009Feb24 at 0239 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Personal Life, Thinkables)
Tags: belief, correct, natural, people, perceptions, sight, systematic education, training, world
I’ve seen that people believe that the so-called natural or correct way of perceiving the world is the way in which they themselves perceive it; especially the systematically educated, because they have spent the majority of their lives diligently training themselves and one another to perceive the world correctly….
Paths to Power
2009Jan27 at 0113 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Gatherings, Thinkables)
Tags: ambition, fear, find, haven't a clue, paths, power, useful, why?, world
When someone makes their way up in the world, on any level, it will more than likely be found that it was because of one or more of the following: their fear made them useful, their ambition made them useful, or no one really understands why they are where they are.
From Fear to Relationship
2009Jan5 at 0108 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: answers, confidence, contact, fear, humility, knowledge, peace, questions, receive, relationship, understanding
Fear comes from things that you don’t understand
Which, if responded to in humility, leads to questions
Which, if they are received, leads to answers
Which, if received and understood, lead to peace and confidence in knowledge and understanding
Which, if contact is continued, forms and binds a relationship.
A Giver of Fate
2009Jan5 at 0102 (Conversations in my Head, Poetry, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: decisions, fate, grace, heart, judgment, peace, power, where?
By men, general peace can be kept in every place,
And God will judge with his own grace.
And I haven’t the power to decide,
Where the fate of any man’s heart will reside.
“Do You Know, Where You Will Go?”
2009Jan5 at 0158 (Conversations in my Head, Theology?)
Tags: endurance, expectations, heaven and hell, judgment, knowledge, where?
If it takes a man all that he has to get through the day, how can he be expected to judge eternity?
