2009Apr17 at 0409 (Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: always, anger, assumption, belief, contentment, death, doubt, facts, fail, fear, happiness, indefinitely, judgment, life, preparation, relationship, response, seek, smile, statistics, today, tomorrow, truth
How do we respond to such cold comments?
“You two are in the ’sparkles’ stage–so happy and content, in six months, it will die.”
What do they mean by saying it? They recognize that we are happy and content, but then do they assume we always have been? And that we believe we always will be?
Honestly, their statistics and irrelevant doubt enrage me. I spout out streams of sarcastic wit, judging the conditions of their own relationships as apparently poor and “dead” in themselves.
Nevertheless, we cannot say indefinitely and we cannot judge at all. So, we’ll smile in their general direction and file away these “facts.” We’ll live in today and prepare for tomorrow and seek for the truth, in where we are at.
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2009Mar22 at 0301 (Community, Gatherings, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: ambition, anger, arms, belief, belligerent, best, care, change, conclusion, confidence, darkness, death, expectations, force, forget, God, growth, heart, help, influence, jealousy, judgment, knowledge, language, leadership, love, meanings, peace, power, pretend, relate, seek, separation, should, silence, submission, talk, Teacher, terrified, The Cause, together, truth, understanding, walk, want, why?, words, world
I get angry when I’m not a part of making the conclusion,
When its given to me
Pasted on
And expected that I will comply
But why?
Do I know them?
Do I care?
I just look at them and stare
Good for you
What you say is true
But don’t flounder it like its your cause
Don’t force me join you
When you don’t know me
When you forget my name
When you…
Why am I so angry?
Why am I so belligerent?
They push beyond what’s given them
To a world beyond
To a world that doesn’t understand them
To a world that speaks another tongue
And I understand them
But I choose not to submit
Who am I to judge what God has given?
Who am I to draw the lines?
They pretend power
They just want to help.
Who am I to believe I know?
Who am I to judge?
So go along with the flow
It’s good, it’s good
You really, truly should
We all want the best
The best for all
So we spread our influence
Our knowledge of what is best for all.
None of us can lead.
Except to death and darkness below
Unless we walk together
Side by side
Each one’s influence ends at the reach of their arms
And only the truth can take it further (through the arms of another, and another, and another)
Live in peace
Destroy ambitions and jealousies,
Seek truth with those around you
Relate to truth through the voices of your neighbors and friends
Move slowly and only in confidence and peace
Understand the meanings of silence
The words of the heart–the words that our own attempt to relate–
I speak these to myself
I can’t press on anyone else
God teach us to walk, to talk and to love in both
I am so terrified of the world around me
How can they care when they do not know
The good hearts that believe they know
That seek to influence, to change, to grow
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2009Feb24 at 0230 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Gatherings, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: arms, battles, bind, blind, blood, called, ceiling, chaos, claim, clean, command, damp, darkness, desire, die, dirty, distinguish, domination, doom, dry, evil, face, feelings, fighting, flatter, flesh, floor, food, free, freedom, gavel, God, hands, hear, heart, hell, hold, honest, humiliation, ignorance, judgment, kitchen, lies, lives, Lord?, man, master, matter, name, one another, others, pan, passion, past, peace, pitiful, plea, please, pleasure, point, pot, pressure, pride, prize, race, reach, refuse, relate, relationship, rest, return, save, sea, shame, sight, sky, sounds, speak, sweat, terrified, thought, throat, truth, understanding, validate, wait, walls, waste, weight, what?, where?, why?, willingness, win, words, yell
Chaos swirling rapidly around
So many lives, so many sounds
The kitchen’s dirty, dark and damp
The master’s calling for food
But I can’t see.
I could.
I used to distinguish from pot and pan;
The dirty and clean;
The ceiling and floor.
But not any more.
Now I feel,
I feel for real.
I see there are so many lies.
Now I see,
I see the sea.
And my hands reach up for the skies.
Freedom, freedom calls my name
The truth will set you free.
Bind the evil,
Kick it out!
And then please hear my plea
And then please speak with me.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
Peace, peace, peace, be still
The words come from a dry, croaking throat
Evil has won
But your saving us, son
Live in hell so that we may die
In our pitiful, passionate pleasures
I’m fighting, yes! But what for?!
I’m living, yes! But what for?!
But what for?! But. What. For?!
And why?
…It doesn’t matter now, it seems
The passing has already come
I’m truly flattered now, it seems
…no!
I refuse.
I will not hold up your face any more
I will not validate your lies.
You are just a man like me…
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
I have been humiliated
Entirely so
And yes, I feel it too,
The pressure to race, to win, to hold
From others as well as my own.
But when: to rest, to wait, to hold
One another instead of a prize,
In honest, willing thoughtfulness
Not dominant, prurient pride.
Where is the peace, my Lord?
Where is the desire to understand?
Where is the ignorance slight,
And thoughtfulness true?
Where are the battles finally won?
In your arms I’ll rest, my Lord
But to return to the darkness?
Truly Lord, what lies in the wastes?
The flesh and blood, claimed by One
Who dooms to ignorant fate.
And the hearts of some, claimed by One
Who choose to wait and relate.
Still, the darkness weighs heavily
The master’s voice yells again
But only so long as to give commands
And next the judge comes in.
The master points,
I feel ashamed
Then terrified as the gavel is raised
Over his head,
It weighs so much
He sweats but his eyes are blind
Then he lets it fall onto my chest
And my doomed life spatters
Over them and the walls
And finally, I am at rest.
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2009Jan5 at 0102 (Conversations in my Head, Poetry, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: decisions, fate, grace, heart, judgment, peace, power, where?
By men, general peace can be kept in every place,
And God will judge with his own grace.
And I haven’t the power to decide,
Where the fate of any man’s heart will reside.
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2009Jan5 at 0158 (Conversations in my Head, Theology?)
Tags: endurance, expectations, heaven and hell, judgment, knowledge, where?
If it takes a man all that he has to get through the day, how can he be expected to judge eternity?
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2008Dec15 at 1206 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life)
Tags: chaos, defense, discernment, evil, God, ignorance, judgment, knowledge, motives, patience, peace, questions, right, truth, wait on the Lord
If you truly desire to know the truth, then you will be patient with me as I wait on my God, for his knowledge and discernment–which is the right way–but if you have evil motives and have already judged my words, or if you do not care for truth and have chosen ignorance, leave me in peace (take your chaos elsewhere) and question me no further.
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2008Dec15 at 1249 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life)
Tags: debating hypothetical opinions, gift, humility, judgment, mercy, pride, receive, understanding
“But is it easier apply judgment or give mercy? I am trying to make the giving of mercy understandable.”
“Mercy is only a gift to the humble.”
“True, because only the humble will see it as such. All the more, because of this, we should always give mercy, rather than grow prideful in our judgment–no longer allowing the reception of mercy ourselves.”
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