I musn’t have the expectation to control or over-power the environment, circumstances or people around me. I must require control of and power over myself; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. There may be more and more accurate structuring of these, but to know and understand their function, potential, limitation, and the like, will expand my ability to fulfill and enjoy this requirement.
Decision: How Will I Respond to the World?
2009Oct31 at 1016 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: ability, circumstances, control, decision, emotionally, enjoy, environment, expansion, expectations, fulfillment, function, knowledge, limitation, made for myself, mentally, people, physically, potential, power, requirements, response, spiritually, structuring, understanding, world
تجربتي
2009Oct4 at 1048 (Community, Personal Life, Poetry, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: decisions, find, foriegn places, home, knowledge, leave, lost, people, places, return, search
في الأماكن الغريبة، نبحث عن الأشياء التي في أوطاننا لم نجدها
ولكن، إذا نكف عن التفكير في الأشياء في الأماكن الغريبة
سنرى، الأشياء التي كانت ضائعة، إن شاء الله، في أوطاننا
وبعد ذلك، سنقرر أن نرجع، إن شاء الله، إلى أوطاننا
فلا نترك، الأماكن و الأشخاص الذين يعرفوننا دائما دائما
Jessica Jane, I love you.
2009Aug11 at 0848 (Personal Life, Poetry, To My Love)
Tags: beloved, chest, closest friend, concept, Elven Queen, eternal, expansion, find, gift, growth, hands, heart, I will never..., idea, jump, knowledge, leave, live, longing, love, peace, personal, places, plan, pleasure, promise, promises, Ranger, relationship, remember, rest, seek, sensitive, shy away, sigh, sleep, stupid, tension, today, with you, without you, words
And as I read your words
I feel the expansion in my chest
As my heart attempts to jump out,
To land in your hands
Where it has found peace.
…sigh…
I can’t promise that I’ll always be with you,
Though I will never plan to do so myself.
I can’t promise you anything forever,
Though I’ll not let this day end until we’ve found peace.
I can’t promise you my heart, eternally in your hands,
Though there are no other hands in which it will be.
I can’t promise that I will always remember dates and times,
Though I’ll never forget to be sensitive to our relationship.
You have my heart.
It was given to you.
Resting in both of your hands
is where it has found peace.
You are my Elven Queen.
There will be no other place;
no other place in the world that I could go,
and find the pleasure of our love
without you.
You are my Beloved.
Your hands have been chosen for me
and mine for you;
through tensions and sensitivity
we will always grow.
You are my closest friend.
Please remember me, love.
It’s not as if I have left you
to live somewhere else.
I am here,
apart from you
but I am not “living it up”.
My heart is always longing for you.
I look for you in other people
but they shy away
because my words are too personal.
I look for you in other people
but they say stupid things
because they don’t know me.
Only you;
you,
as a person
(not as a place or an idea or a concept
or anything else),
are the only one that will ever be my home.
That is what I promise you.
Sleep in peace, my dear
Your Ranger,
Kenneth
“I Love You” (a proposal to my beloved)
2009May7 at 0515 (Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Songs)
Tags: beauty, belief, beloved, burden, burning, chaos, darkness, end, flame, healing, heartlessness, humility, knowledge, life, lonely, love, marry me?, pain, proposal, pure, serious, shame, singing, sun, together, true love, truth, want, yielding
Why do we let things become so serious?
Why do we feel so burdened?
Why do we try to handle everything alone?
I don’t know…
I don’t know…
But I want to know something
I want to know someone
And I believe that you and I, each are the others one
To heal through the chaos
To heal through the pain
Together call on the truth, and live within its flame
To burn away the lies in fear and find what’s left to name
Be it beauty, or be it shame
I don’t care as long as your there to take it on again
We’ll burn together
As bright as the sun
Illuminating the darkness, cutting through the heartlessness
As long as we’re humble
As long as we’re pure
Yielding to the other will be true love, I’m sure
But in the end
It comes down to this hardly simple thing:
I want to know someone
I want to be known
And I believe that you and I, each are the others own
I believe that you and I, each are the others own
So will you marry me?
Will you be my one?
I want to know my life with you
To sing of truth and love
Will you marry me?
The Power of the “Good” Still Enrages and Terrifies…
2009Mar22 at 0301 (Community, Gatherings, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: ambition, anger, arms, belief, belligerent, best, care, change, conclusion, confidence, darkness, death, expectations, force, forget, God, growth, heart, help, influence, jealousy, judgment, knowledge, language, leadership, love, meanings, peace, power, pretend, relate, seek, separation, should, silence, submission, talk, Teacher, terrified, The Cause, together, truth, understanding, walk, want, why?, words, world
I get angry when I’m not a part of making the conclusion,
When its given to me
Pasted on
And expected that I will comply
But why?
Do I know them?
Do I care?
I just look at them and stare
Good for you
What you say is true
But don’t flounder it like its your cause
Don’t force me join you
When you don’t know me
When you forget my name
When you…
Why am I so angry?
Why am I so belligerent?
They push beyond what’s given them
To a world beyond
To a world that doesn’t understand them
To a world that speaks another tongue
And I understand them
But I choose not to submit
Who am I to judge what God has given?
Who am I to draw the lines?
They pretend power
They just want to help.
Who am I to believe I know?
Who am I to judge?
So go along with the flow
It’s good, it’s good
You really, truly should
We all want the best
The best for all
So we spread our influence
Our knowledge of what is best for all.
None of us can lead.
Except to death and darkness below
Unless we walk together
Side by side
Each one’s influence ends at the reach of their arms
And only the truth can take it further (through the arms of another, and another, and another)
Live in peace
Destroy ambitions and jealousies,
Seek truth with those around you
Relate to truth through the voices of your neighbors and friends
Move slowly and only in confidence and peace
Understand the meanings of silence
The words of the heart–the words that our own attempt to relate–
I speak these to myself
I can’t press on anyone else
God teach us to walk, to talk and to love in both
I am so terrified of the world around me
How can they care when they do not know
The good hearts that believe they know
That seek to influence, to change, to grow
From Fear to Relationship
2009Jan5 at 0108 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: answers, confidence, contact, fear, humility, knowledge, peace, questions, receive, relationship, understanding
Fear comes from things that you don’t understand
Which, if responded to in humility, leads to questions
Which, if they are received, leads to answers
Which, if received and understood, lead to peace and confidence in knowledge and understanding
Which, if contact is continued, forms and binds a relationship.
“Do You Know, Where You Will Go?”
2009Jan5 at 0158 (Conversations in my Head, Theology?)
Tags: endurance, expectations, heaven and hell, judgment, knowledge, where?
If it takes a man all that he has to get through the day, how can he be expected to judge eternity?
In an Old Land Once Called Home
2009Jan5 at 0152 (Heart Thoughts, Personal Life)
Tags: feelings, history, home, knowledge, panic, sadness, time, where?
Pictures, movies, memories of the past.
Why is the reaction so strong? To hear where people are now.
To not know. To know, but not know them anymore.
What is this feeling? Sadness accompanies it; panic as well, I think;
to run away–back to where I should be; to run towards it–back to where I’m from…
In my Defense (The Second)
2008Dec15 at 1206 (Conversations in my Head, Personal Life)
Tags: chaos, defense, discernment, evil, God, ignorance, judgment, knowledge, motives, patience, peace, questions, right, truth, wait on the Lord
If you truly desire to know the truth, then you will be patient with me as I wait on my God, for his knowledge and discernment–which is the right way–but if you have evil motives and have already judged my words, or if you do not care for truth and have chosen ignorance, leave me in peace (take your chaos elsewhere) and question me no further.
