There are unfinished things
That must go beyond this world
Like relationships without closure, without resolution
Like a dead branch
Severed by a crack
Hanging limp from the tree of life
Not falling, not leaving
Because its source of life still exists in the world
But there is no longer a connection
And there was no healing, no understanding, no humility
Until it was too late
Occasionally now,
The creaking of its dead fibers
Reach my ears and draw my eyes to the memories of its fullness and strength
But its weight still hangs
Heavy and limp with sadness
Reminding me then,
There are unfinished things
Unfinished Things
2009Oct10 at 1020 (Personal Life, Poetry)
Tags: beyond, branch, closure, connection, dead, existance, fullness, healing, hear, heavy, humility, life, limp, relationship, remaining, remember, resolution, sadness, severed, sight, source, strength, time, tree of life, understanding, unfinished, weight, world
Jessica Jane, I love you.
2009Aug11 at 0848 (Personal Life, Poetry, To My Love)
Tags: beloved, chest, closest friend, concept, Elven Queen, eternal, expansion, find, gift, growth, hands, heart, I will never..., idea, jump, knowledge, leave, live, longing, love, peace, personal, places, plan, pleasure, promise, promises, Ranger, relationship, remember, rest, seek, sensitive, shy away, sigh, sleep, stupid, tension, today, with you, without you, words
And as I read your words
I feel the expansion in my chest
As my heart attempts to jump out,
To land in your hands
Where it has found peace.
…sigh…
I can’t promise that I’ll always be with you,
Though I will never plan to do so myself.
I can’t promise you anything forever,
Though I’ll not let this day end until we’ve found peace.
I can’t promise you my heart, eternally in your hands,
Though there are no other hands in which it will be.
I can’t promise that I will always remember dates and times,
Though I’ll never forget to be sensitive to our relationship.
You have my heart.
It was given to you.
Resting in both of your hands
is where it has found peace.
You are my Elven Queen.
There will be no other place;
no other place in the world that I could go,
and find the pleasure of our love
without you.
You are my Beloved.
Your hands have been chosen for me
and mine for you;
through tensions and sensitivity
we will always grow.
You are my closest friend.
Please remember me, love.
It’s not as if I have left you
to live somewhere else.
I am here,
apart from you
but I am not “living it up”.
My heart is always longing for you.
I look for you in other people
but they shy away
because my words are too personal.
I look for you in other people
but they say stupid things
because they don’t know me.
Only you;
you,
as a person
(not as a place or an idea or a concept
or anything else),
are the only one that will ever be my home.
That is what I promise you.
Sleep in peace, my dear
Your Ranger,
Kenneth
Disillusionment…in His name
2009Apr18 at 0409 (Community, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Poetry, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: action, affirmation, arbitrary, balance, cognitive dissonance, culture, deception, deprivation, disillusions, find, florals, force, forgive, freedom, friendship, imagination, Jesus, morals, name, peace, pleasure, reality, reason, refuge, relate, relationship, rotten flesh, speak, sweet, systematic life, truth, where?, wisdom
Imaginary Jesus
Whose always there to please us
Confined to dissolve our cognitive dissonance
Our refuge relation
Our affirming sensation
Our utter deprivation
of self-expression
Spoken in His name.
Arbitrary morals
The culture’s deceptive florals
Smelling so sweet, but grown solely from rotting flesh
Our burdensome wisdom
Our incomplete system
Our forceful piston
Pushing us to fall in line
Acted out in His name.
Where is the balance
Of reason and freedom
Of real relations and forgiving friendships?
Why must the Word be fake
Or only seen from one man’s take?
Reality is found in humility of the mind
And forgiveness is found in humility of the kind.
But how does one find
the peace of mind
to ever be truly kind?
Beware! Statistics say you will fail!
2009Apr17 at 0409 (Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Statements, Thinkables)
Tags: always, anger, assumption, belief, contentment, death, doubt, facts, fail, fear, happiness, indefinitely, judgment, life, preparation, relationship, response, seek, smile, statistics, today, tomorrow, truth
How do we respond to such cold comments?
“You two are in the ’sparkles’ stage–so happy and content, in six months, it will die.”
What do they mean by saying it? They recognize that we are happy and content, but then do they assume we always have been? And that we believe we always will be?
Honestly, their statistics and irrelevant doubt enrage me. I spout out streams of sarcastic wit, judging the conditions of their own relationships as apparently poor and “dead” in themselves.
Nevertheless, we cannot say indefinitely and we cannot judge at all. So, we’ll smile in their general direction and file away these “facts.” We’ll live in today and prepare for tomorrow and seek for the truth, in where we are at.
Chaos at Hand
2009Feb24 at 0230 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Gatherings, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: arms, battles, bind, blind, blood, called, ceiling, chaos, claim, clean, command, damp, darkness, desire, die, dirty, distinguish, domination, doom, dry, evil, face, feelings, fighting, flatter, flesh, floor, food, free, freedom, gavel, God, hands, hear, heart, hell, hold, honest, humiliation, ignorance, judgment, kitchen, lies, lives, Lord?, man, master, matter, name, one another, others, pan, passion, past, peace, pitiful, plea, please, pleasure, point, pot, pressure, pride, prize, race, reach, refuse, relate, relationship, rest, return, save, sea, shame, sight, sky, sounds, speak, sweat, terrified, thought, throat, truth, understanding, validate, wait, walls, waste, weight, what?, where?, why?, willingness, win, words, yell
Chaos swirling rapidly around
So many lives, so many sounds
The kitchen’s dirty, dark and damp
The master’s calling for food
But I can’t see.
I could.
I used to distinguish from pot and pan;
The dirty and clean;
The ceiling and floor.
But not any more.
Now I feel,
I feel for real.
I see there are so many lies.
Now I see,
I see the sea.
And my hands reach up for the skies.
Freedom, freedom calls my name
The truth will set you free.
Bind the evil,
Kick it out!
And then please hear my plea
And then please speak with me.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
Peace, peace, peace, be still
The words come from a dry, croaking throat
Evil has won
But your saving us, son
Live in hell so that we may die
In our pitiful, passionate pleasures
I’m fighting, yes! But what for?!
I’m living, yes! But what for?!
But what for?! But. What. For?!
And why?
…It doesn’t matter now, it seems
The passing has already come
I’m truly flattered now, it seems
…no!
I refuse.
I will not hold up your face any more
I will not validate your lies.
You are just a man like me…
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
I have been humiliated
Entirely so
And yes, I feel it too,
The pressure to race, to win, to hold
From others as well as my own.
But when: to rest, to wait, to hold
One another instead of a prize,
In honest, willing thoughtfulness
Not dominant, prurient pride.
Where is the peace, my Lord?
Where is the desire to understand?
Where is the ignorance slight,
And thoughtfulness true?
Where are the battles finally won?
In your arms I’ll rest, my Lord
But to return to the darkness?
Truly Lord, what lies in the wastes?
The flesh and blood, claimed by One
Who dooms to ignorant fate.
And the hearts of some, claimed by One
Who choose to wait and relate.
Still, the darkness weighs heavily
The master’s voice yells again
But only so long as to give commands
And next the judge comes in.
The master points,
I feel ashamed
Then terrified as the gavel is raised
Over his head,
It weighs so much
He sweats but his eyes are blind
Then he lets it fall onto my chest
And my doomed life spatters
Over them and the walls
And finally, I am at rest.
From Fear to Relationship
2009Jan5 at 0108 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Theology?, Thinkables)
Tags: answers, confidence, contact, fear, humility, knowledge, peace, questions, receive, relationship, understanding
Fear comes from things that you don’t understand
Which, if responded to in humility, leads to questions
Which, if they are received, leads to answers
Which, if received and understood, lead to peace and confidence in knowledge and understanding
Which, if contact is continued, forms and binds a relationship.
