2009May7 at 0515 (Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Songs)
Tags: beauty, belief, beloved, burden, burning, chaos, darkness, end, flame, healing, heartlessness, humility, knowledge, life, lonely, love, marry me?, pain, proposal, pure, serious, shame, singing, sun, together, true love, truth, want, yielding
Why do we let things become so serious?
Why do we feel so burdened?
Why do we try to handle everything alone?
I don’t know…
I don’t know…
But I want to know something
I want to know someone
And I believe that you and I, each are the others one
To heal through the chaos
To heal through the pain
Together call on the truth, and live within its flame
To burn away the lies in fear and find what’s left to name
Be it beauty, or be it shame
I don’t care as long as your there to take it on again
We’ll burn together
As bright as the sun
Illuminating the darkness, cutting through the heartlessness
As long as we’re humble
As long as we’re pure
Yielding to the other will be true love, I’m sure
But in the end
It comes down to this hardly simple thing:
I want to know someone
I want to be known
And I believe that you and I, each are the others own
I believe that you and I, each are the others own
So will you marry me?
Will you be my one?
I want to know my life with you
To sing of truth and love
Will you marry me?
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2009Feb24 at 0230 (Community, Conversations in my Head, Gatherings, Heart Thoughts, Personal Life, Poetry, Thinkables)
Tags: arms, battles, bind, blind, blood, called, ceiling, chaos, claim, clean, command, damp, darkness, desire, die, dirty, distinguish, domination, doom, dry, evil, face, feelings, fighting, flatter, flesh, floor, food, free, freedom, gavel, God, hands, hear, heart, hell, hold, honest, humiliation, ignorance, judgment, kitchen, lies, lives, Lord?, man, master, matter, name, one another, others, pan, passion, past, peace, pitiful, plea, please, pleasure, point, pot, pressure, pride, prize, race, reach, refuse, relate, relationship, rest, return, save, sea, shame, sight, sky, sounds, speak, sweat, terrified, thought, throat, truth, understanding, validate, wait, walls, waste, weight, what?, where?, why?, willingness, win, words, yell
Chaos swirling rapidly around
So many lives, so many sounds
The kitchen’s dirty, dark and damp
The master’s calling for food
But I can’t see.
I could.
I used to distinguish from pot and pan;
The dirty and clean;
The ceiling and floor.
But not any more.
Now I feel,
I feel for real.
I see there are so many lies.
Now I see,
I see the sea.
And my hands reach up for the skies.
Freedom, freedom calls my name
The truth will set you free.
Bind the evil,
Kick it out!
And then please hear my plea
And then please speak with me.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
Peace, peace, peace, be still
The words come from a dry, croaking throat
Evil has won
But your saving us, son
Live in hell so that we may die
In our pitiful, passionate pleasures
I’m fighting, yes! But what for?!
I’m living, yes! But what for?!
But what for?! But. What. For?!
And why?
…It doesn’t matter now, it seems
The passing has already come
I’m truly flattered now, it seems
…no!
I refuse.
I will not hold up your face any more
I will not validate your lies.
You are just a man like me…
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
I have been humiliated
Entirely so
And yes, I feel it too,
The pressure to race, to win, to hold
From others as well as my own.
But when: to rest, to wait, to hold
One another instead of a prize,
In honest, willing thoughtfulness
Not dominant, prurient pride.
Where is the peace, my Lord?
Where is the desire to understand?
Where is the ignorance slight,
And thoughtfulness true?
Where are the battles finally won?
In your arms I’ll rest, my Lord
But to return to the darkness?
Truly Lord, what lies in the wastes?
The flesh and blood, claimed by One
Who dooms to ignorant fate.
And the hearts of some, claimed by One
Who choose to wait and relate.
Still, the darkness weighs heavily
The master’s voice yells again
But only so long as to give commands
And next the judge comes in.
The master points,
I feel ashamed
Then terrified as the gavel is raised
Over his head,
It weighs so much
He sweats but his eyes are blind
Then he lets it fall onto my chest
And my doomed life spatters
Over them and the walls
And finally, I am at rest.
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2008Nov6 at 1151 (Personal Life, Poetry)
Tags: evil, hunt, king, lost, names, numbness, panic, shame, temptation
His mind thrashes, knowing that temptation has drawn him away.
Returning home, he grows fierce because he does not know the way.
Truth fogs over as darkness approaches.
Panic and shame begin their hunt;
To catch him, and king him with a crown of glowing coals.
Dusk brings a chill, and the man grows numb,
Nevertheless, he walks on; vaguely aware of the evil that pursues him–He only knows their names.
…
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2008Nov3 at 1158 (Personal Life, Poetry)
Tags: anxiety, curses, desire, despise, eyes, God, grace, knowledge, love, lovingkindness, mercy, oppression, pain, piety, praise, reflection, reverence, shame, speak, truth, violence
My God is abundant in loving kindness and tender mercies.
I look on those I desire influence over,
Those I called ‘my loved,’
With a critical spirit.
I am shown their pain
To my eyes their oppressions are revealed
And I desire to make known their foolish ways
To return what I see to their own eyes
That they might be shamed in the terror of it all
That they might see their ways and change them
I take their words, I observe their actions
And I return with my own as their accuser and judge
And it never worked.
They reacted as a cornered animal,
Lashing violently at me in desperation, in defense
Instinctively protecting the wound which my piety so maliciously inflicted
Then they came to one of two things:
They despised me above all;
Or revered me as something greater than men.
And what an oppression this is
To receive my own lack of mercy in the terrible curses of one;
And to simultaneously endure the incessant praises – to my worthy-less glory – of another
“O Lord!” I cried “What can be done?
Come Lord, what shall I say?
Visit me Lord, what shall I do?
Your presence reveals all truth,
Please come to this place Father!
And He did.
And His overwhelming presence silenced my heart.
When all was made still,
He spoke in a whisper,
“I am the revealer of mysteries,
I alone change the hearts of men.”
So. I spoke to my King about their pain,
I told Him of their oppression.
And to my heart, it’s foolish ways are made known
What the Lord sees, returns to my eyes
But in His love, I am not put to shame
And I am not anxious to change my heart
For He takes my words, and observes my actions
And replaces them with His truth, full of love and grace
My God is abundant in loving kindness and tender mercies.
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